• Michael Noctor

She's Only A Car

Tomorrow is a big day for Esperanza. She has to go through the dreaded N.C.T.

It won’t be easy for me either. Last time, I sat in the waiting area, peering through the glass, seeing her prodded, poked, raised in the air and shaken ‘til she looked like a transformer rag doll on speed. In the end all she needed was to have her headlights polished, which was a good thing for me as she wasn’t just my car but my home – at that time.

Esperanza stopped being just a car – and a home for that matter – a long time ago.

This is her taking a little rest on the way to Wexford -

I had just come back from Spain and we were going through our getting to know each other again phase. She was a bit pissed off with me, not just because I’d abandoned her for a few months, but because I’d left her with some people who mistreated her.

She liked nothing better than to take in the sea view from the Ferrybank camping site on the edge of Wexford town.

We don’t do as much together these days. She likes to spend her days grazing in an underground carpark and I just take her out for an occasional spin, in the way you might do bed turns for your ancient granny to prevent her from completely ceasing.

Here’s a photo of me and Espe heading to Galway. Would ya look at me with the dirty cigarette hangin’ from me gob! -

I’m 356 days off the smokes – that’s just a sidenote – and trust me to give them up when there’s a leap year involved. I had a nightmare last night where I was back on the smokes, big style, and terrified about having to tell my Katiebells that I was back on them.

Back to Esperanza. It will break my heart if I have to put her to sleep. It won’t do my bank balance any favours, either. I can’t complain. She owes me nothing. In fact, I owe her so much. You may think that’s crazy, but as I’ve said before, if you lived in your car for 840 days and nights you might know where I’m coming from.

It really will break my heart if she has to go, but I have seen a couple of little cuties on – I was going to say, fookin’ hell I’m glad I’m not looking at that site anymore –

At the end of the day, she’s only a car.

(I can’t believe I just wrote that!)