• Michael Noctor

Senicide Is Not Painless

I read about a Japanese custom where they’d carry an elderly relative to a mountain and leave them there to die, which is better than the Heruli – a Germanic tribe from way back – who used to pile the old darlings onto a stack of wood and stab them to death before burning them, and for a sick moment my mind was thinking, ‘Jaysus, we should have done that with our ma.’

LOL – And there ya have it, the first one of the blog, and the day.

‘You should be in the apartment by the end of next week.’ That’s what the estate agent said to me. So, almost five years to the day I left Tesco – September 30th, 2015 – I will move into my new home.

It’s six years since I sat wall-watching in the dreary little town of Athboy. I was thinking, if I’m not careful I could live this way for the next ten years. I’m at the halfway stage of that decade and I’ve had so many incredible experiences and it looks like the second half is going to kick off in a beautiful studio apartment that’s a fourteen minute stroll to Saint Stephen’s Green. It’s small, but it’s quirky, modern, comfy and as I already said beautiful.

their abandonment to death…

Pat, one of the guys I share this apartment with, has just told me what happened to Leo Varadkar. Pat’s a very nice man – I am lolling again; he’s always giving out – and he reckons the woman who chucked the slush puppy at Leo will be found and should get ten years! ‘It could have been acid.’ Pat said, and that was the first thing that came into my mind. I had seen a post saying Leo would not be looking for additional security after some liquid had been thrown at him. I didn’t click on it to get the full story. Here’s the thing, I’m hap approved – homeless, alcoholic pauper, er, I mean, homeless assistance payment – and in my eyes Leo is a Superhero. Look that the Japs and the Heruli used to do.

Dry your eyes, mate

Senicide is not alive and well (no pun intended) and being practiced in Ireland. Senicide is a new word for me – the killing of older persons, or their abandonment to death. It’s also called geronticide – who invented these words? Probably a load of monks, stoned out of their heads on opium, saying ‘here, I’ve got another great one!’ A subject I should know more about. A subject some people spend their lives studying. We’ve come a long, long way from the grunting caveman – and woman, in keeping with the gender recognition that Pat reckons is getting out of hand. Pat’s even older than I am and if he had any idea I’ve written about him in my blog, I think my worries about being stabbed to death and burned on a lump of wood would be no more. See what I dun there?

The other chap I share with is also Pat. We are in a complex that mostly contains McVerry Trust apartments – leased from South Dublin County Council – and one of the Pats told me ours is the only apartment that has only Irish people; two Paddies and a Mick, and here comes another one … LOL.

Happy Saturday.

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